I woke up with a pretty long “to do list” yesterday morning, and decided to blow it off. Not only did I have a terrible sinus headache, but my mind was in the gutter.
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Have A Little Faith
October 19th has been a day of reflection for me since 2013.
That year I went to Darren Hardy’s High Performance Summit and I knew my life would be completely different the following year.
When I was trying out new running shoes last night the salesman said, “Take this the right way. You are a fast runner. There is no way it should have taken you five hours to run a marathon.”
I was looking for a sign to no longer hold myself back, and I don’t think it could have come any clearer. I felt every ounce of pain during the last seven miles of that marathon, but deep down I knew he was right. I just didn’t see it until he said it.
I, like many other women, tend to hold myself back. No matter how confident I want to feel in my decision or my ability, there’s always a piece of me that wants to put myself down.
When I heard his comment about my running I thought about the fears I had while training for that race. I had never run a marathon before, and was certain it would take me hours on end to finish it. I would brag about my brother who is capable of doing the same distance in three and a half hours and then say how amazing he was in wanting to run my pace with me. I never once acknowledged that what I was doing was a big deal and that I was more than capable of it.
Every time I finished a long training run I was amazed at what I had accomplished. I didn’t expect to enjoy a long run or to finish so capably. It was like I surprised myself every time. Not once did I really work to be faster during my long runs. I just wanted to finish, but finishing isn’t what races are for. Challenging yourself and testing your limits are why most people run.
Today I made a decision to stop holding myself back in running and in life. I am going to recognize my strength and truly “run with it.”
How are you going to test your limits today?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Hello, My Name Is by Matthew West
I miss brunch. Specifically I miss “eggs on the bayou” with a mimosa from Beach Diner in Atlantic Beach. Not eating out has been my biggest hurdle with the Living Well Spending Zero Challenge.
My first obstacle came before the challenge even started. As I was trying to make plans with a friend, I realized our normal going for dinner was out, so I planned a walk on the beach instead.
After that bump the first week itself was a breeze. We had plenty of kale, beans, salad toppings, nut butter and organic whole grain bread and we were happy to eat it. We also didn’t have any specific plans involving food. The rest of the month has not been so easy. I love going out to eat and relaxing. Between date nights with Jimmy and regular outings with friends I know my restaurant habit is causing one of the biggest problems in my budget.
I used to never eat out. I felt if I was going to spend money I would rather allot it to something other than food. Then I started working in Key West. Since I flew down for work I expensed my meals. I started small, just eating at my hotel or pick up food somewhere near work, but then I made friends and started to explore the island.
I fell in love with the best food Key West has to offer. From Hogfish Bar and Grill to Louie’s Backyard I knew where to find the best of everything. I loved the time with friends, and my evenings felt like little vacations. The best part was everything went on my company credit card. I never had to actually pay attention to my bill.
When my company found someone who lived closer to the account to cover it, I still craved the fun atmosphere and delicious food I had grown accustomed to. This “craving” lead to more nice meals out at home, and choosing what I wanted to eat with little regard for the price. Initially this wasn’t a bad thing. Jimmy and I went on more dates and I relaxed about spending money. The problem came in when I started caring more about the relaxation than the health of my bank account.
Around the same time I had also become very addicted to the happiness high I got from buying Lilly Pulitzer, and was trying to use my money to invest in continuing education and my new business. Needless to say this became a lethal combination for my finances and I am still working at picking up the pieces.
I got serious about picking them up faster eight months ago. I had stressed over my finances, but not enough to make the drastic changes that needed to occur. As I started to heal mentally and spiritually I stopped relying on outside highs. I began to crave a simpler life and a cleaner living space. I started running more at the beach and stopped buying so many workout DVDs. God became a bigger focus and outside factors weren’t as important in making me happy.
I know with time my cravings for “mini restaurant vacations” will decrease too; it’s just the next step in this journey.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. my favorite song today is How Far We’ve Come by Matchbox Twenty
Photo Credit: http://www.livingwellspendingless.com
There are two things that make me seriously reconsider how I’m living my day-to-day life, one is a great vacation and the other is death. Last weekend I experienced both.
Saturday I returned from Oahu, one of my new favorite places. Several hours later I heard that one of Jimmy’s college roommates died tragically in a car accident. I felt like I had experienced life at its finest while he had the last moments of his. All I could think is what would I do differently if I knew I had only a little time left? If I died tomorrow would I be satisfied with how I lived?
Although there are many goals I haven’t accomplished and places I have yet to visit, this morning I had some clarity. As I sat on the beach watching Jimmy surf I realized my life is amazing. God has blessed me immensely. Yes I have things that I would love to change, but this truly is the life. I have a palm tree out my window, sand on my feet, and somebody that I love. What more do I really need?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Last night I had an unexpected conversation about faith and religion with an atheist. What I think is most amazing is multiple times during the conversation he stated, “I wish more people thought like you.” This was profound to me because I never wavered on my faith.
Our conversation came up while discussing a bill that recently didn’t pass in Florida regarding the legalization of marijuana. From there it took an interesting turn to religion.
During our discussion I learned he became an atheist because of his frustration with religion and judgmental Christians. He had a significant negative experience during childhood and it started a rebellion against religion and everything that came with it. He did add that he does thoroughly enjoy the views of the current pope, with the exception of his belief in God.
I think what intrigued him the most about me is that we actually agreed on many things. Our main difference came down to he puts his faith in people, where as I put my faith in the God that created those people.
I do understand where he is coming from. I have some similar frustrations with religion, and especially with judgmental people who consider themselves the best of Christians.
I was raised Catholic like my mom, but my dad is Baptist. These two religions regularly bump heads over what is right and what is wrong, but my parents never did. The focus in our household was the importance of our faith, rather than religion. My dad taught me that there are differences in religions, but the core faith is a belief in God. I was raised to never judge others, and taught that your religion does not make you better than other people. This has greatly shaped the person and the Christian I have become.
One of the things we discussed last night were judgments he and I had faced from other Christians. My wonderful parents helped me through these trials when I was young assuring me that anyone that makes me feel bad about my faith is not displaying Christian behavior. He had faced similar experiences, but without the support a child needs when shaping their faith.
My main point in discussing this is not because it was an amazing conversation, but because of the lessons all Christians should learn from it. Love is what changes hearts and minds, not lack of acceptance. I may never know the full impact our conversation had on him. Maybe he will think more about God, maybe he won’t, but I know that for me it was a lesson I will never forget.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Do Something by Matthew West
My apartment complex has a resort worthy pool and I'm going to start using it more than four times a year.
In the spirit of my happiness project I have been thinking about the things in life that make me happy. Spending time by the water in the sun rejuvenates me in a way that nothing else can. Forty-five minutes by the ocean or the pool makes me a better person for the rest of the day. I write better, think better, and overall feel better.
I’ve decided while it is warm the pool will be my thinking spot at least three days a week. It’s hard to argue with when you don’t have to drive there and the relaxation makes you more productive.
What will you do for your sanity today?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Day One by Matthew West
Although I have learned failure is a prerequisite to success, I still struggle with the lack of perfection in my life. As usual I want life to go smoothly. I want my apartment to stay clean, to look cute at all times, and to create my version of success without the pain.
What started as pathetically wallowing over a hurt foot and frustrating finances slipped into a negative walk down memory lane. Reminding myself of every poor decision I’d recently made was a springboard for everything I’d done wrong in the last three years. I was beating myself up for not taking care of my feet, for spending too much, for not listening to my gut … the list went on and on. Finally I stopped myself long enough to realize without these “failures” I would have never experienced some of the best moments of my life so far. I wouldn’t have become a better nutritionist, friend, or human being in general. Without my failures I couldn’t be the best version of myself.
I gave myself a moment to lick my wounds and then reminded myself that failure is a part of life. The important part isn’t the failure itself, but what you do after that counts. Successful people tend to succeed not in spite of failure, but because of it.
How are you becoming the best version of yourself?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Fight Song by Rachel Platten
This morning my Jesus Calling devotional instructed me to relax and I failed in the first hour.
My paycheck didn’t show up, there was a wreck that caused me get to work forty-five minutes late, I went over my self imposed budget for the month, and my car decided to have difficulty starting. Rather than going off the deep end I managed to salvage a little of my sanity by remembering that God told me to relax today. Every time I would tense I would say to myself God is in control and He said to relax.
This evening I decided to continue the thought of relaxation by learning how to be still. I have a beautiful palm tree out my window that I am grateful for everyday, but I don’t take enough time to look at it. This evening I took five minutes to sit on my bed and stare at my tree. Someday the tree won’t be mine and I will regret not spending enough time thanking God for the lovely gift he planted outside my window. Oddly enough the tree makes me feel relaxed.
How will you relax today?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Good Life by OneRepublic
My maid of honor broke up with me a few weeks ago. This has definitely been the hardest break up of my life, but it has also brought me some clarity. People come and go in your life for different reasons. Every relationship has a purpose, although it may take a while for us to understand it.
Margaret and I were friends for thirteen years. That’s a lot of memories, which is the main reason this has been difficult. We don’t usually miss the current relationship, just the good memories we had associated with it. I would like to understand why she decided to cut off our relationship, but at the end of the day it’s not important. Overall our relationship was bringing more stress than joy into my life, and this change has made me want to remove other things that may be causing the same problem.
Over the past few months a book called The Happiness Project has been gnawing at my consciousness. I started it over a year ago on a flight, and then for some reason didn’t get to finish it. It keeps showing up in magazines I read (even though it was published in 2009), Pinterest, and of course on my bookshelf. I have decided not only to take the time to finally read it, but also to work on a happiness project myself. I’m learning life is too short to be miserable for so much of it.
I read a quote recently that I love, “We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one.” I think I’m finally ready to start my second one.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Right Where I Need to Be by Gary Allan
A few days ago I made a decision. I was tired of letting other people’s actions and reactions control my emotions, so I decided to be in charge of them instead.
I knew this would be a difficult process, but I was tired of other people making or breaking my day. I knew this was something only I could change. I can’t control how other people may react to me only how I think and react to them.
One of the things that surprises me the most is how much better I feel even only after a few days. I’m not anywhere near bulletproof, but for the first time ever I am able to take a hurtful situation and separate it from myself. Rather than dwelling on the pain and what I could have done differently, I am seeing it for what it is. I am able to be happy even though I don’t like what is happening around me.
I plan to continue choosing to be happy. I’m sure there will be times when I will fail, but I think overall this will lead to a great life.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Save It for a Rainy Day by Kenny Chesney
I had to rush my cat Bob to the vet because of a bad reaction to a new medication. There is nothing that can compare to the guilt I feel for being the cause of his pain. I made the decision to give him the medication and he had to deal with the horrible consequences.
I believe you truly love someone when you would rather experience pain yourself than let the other person (or animal) feel that pain. This isn’t to discredit other types of love, but I think this shows one of the deepest forms of love there is, unconditional love.
I would have done anything to switch places with Bob. Although he is a cat, he is family. And despite the fact that he has ruined so many towels and regularly displays ornery behavior, I would never consider giving up on him.
There aren’t many people in my life I feel this way about. There are a lot of people in my life I care about deeply, but not many that I would be willing to take away all of their pain and make it mine. I think unconditional love is so rare and so valuable. This kind of love makes it the hardest to let go, but definitely makes life worth living.
I think without understanding this feeling it is incredibly difficult to have faith. How can we begin to imagine a heavenly father that loves us unconditionally if we don’t know what that feeling is like?
Life has never been just about us. It’s about taking care of and loving each other.
How will you show love today?
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks
When you hear the same message over and over again it means you need to sit up and listen.
This morning as I was live steaming church (yes live streaming, don’t judge) the pastor started the sermon with the story of Joseph. To give a quick background since there are multiple Josephs, this is the one with the colorful coat whose brothers sold him into slavery, who then wrongfully went to jail, and then later ruled over Egypt. My initial gut reaction was “this story again!?”
I’m not entirely sure how I have heard this particular story three times in two weeks, especially since I missed all forms of church last weekend, but I was definitely supposed to listen. As the thought of being bored crossed my mind, I remembered the advice I have given to others in situations like these. This piece of my life is on repeat because there is something I missed the first few times around.
Only select groups of people know of the struggles I have been facing over the past eight months. Only a few of those people know everything I am dealing with, and even fewer of those have seen how it has actually affected me during this time.
The only thing that has kept me going over these past months was the knowledge that God was pushing me to something better. Many times when I thought I couldn’t take one more negative, one more pain he would give me a little time to recover, throw in some joy and then give me a stronger shove. I have asked for months for Him to show me where He was leading me, knowing that every instance was keeping me primed so I made the right choice when it came.
I never really loved the story of Joseph. It was too familiar, and despite the fact that it became a musical it was never one of my favorites. I’ve listened to many homilies and sermons that include him, and even though I usually enjoyed the message, I felt maybe his situation was over-used throughout the years. Clearly I was under listening.
This morning the sermon was discussing setbacks. I feel like I have had almost three years of gaining then losing, feeling like I’m on the right path to being thrown a massive curve ball I never saw coming my way.
I was hit pretty hard multiple times over the past few weeks. I am struggling more than I have really admitted to anyone. For the third time in my life the only thing keeping me going is God’s grace and the knowledge that this too will pass. I hold on to everything I am grateful for, my friends, my family, my easy access to the beach, and I use my running to get me through.
I know God is with me during every trial and every pain, and I know something better is coming. This morning despite my initial reaction, the story of Joseph was exactly what I needed to hear. Joseph had setbacks in his setbacks, but in one day went from prisoner to ruler of a nation.
I know this round of trials is coming to an end. I know that although life has been painful I have been made a better human for it. This week a new opportunity fell into my lap. Had it not been for my months of pain I would have likely ignored it, but the graceful way it fell, in the midst of the worst, I know it is my next step. I don’t believe it is my final destination, and I am sure there will always be more trials to come, but I do know that God loves to display his strength when you need it the most.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Stronger by Mandisa
This weekend Betsy and I celebrated our birthdays with the Braves. Every time I visit Atlanta I’m reminded how different my life could have been and how much I love what it is.
Five years ago I was moving from Atlanta. I loved living there and wasn’t ready to leave. The problem was there were no jobs for dietitians in Atlanta. After three weeks of trying to give up the idea of permanently moving south, a job in southern Georgia literally fell into my lap. After six months of living on the water I knew I never wanted to leave the coast.
Life is so interesting to me. We can try to plan, but even the best laid plans can change every time. I can’t imagine living in Atlanta again. I like visiting, but I love going home. I always miss the water, and am ready for good walk on the beach when I return.
At brunch on Saturday I was amazed at how many women were “dressed up” for breakfast. I laughed at the thought, as I used to be one of them. My hair had to be done, my clothes had to be perfect, and wore heels as much as possible. Now I wash my hair only when it needs it, love to wear flip-flops, and prefer to spend most of my time at the beach. I focus more on relationships and less on my shoes, and am able to truly see what is important in life. I’m not saying that everyone has to give up heels and move to the beach to have these realizations, but I did, and I am so grateful for it.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Changes In Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes by Jimmy Buffett
The master of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year. – John Foster Dalles
Tomorrow is my birthday. Every year for as long as I can remember I make my “new year resolutions” on my birthday. I evaluate where I am and think about what I want to accomplish over the next year. I think of my finances, trips I want to take, and how I want to better myself. Most people tend to do this on New Years Day, but this made more sense to me since it was my “new year.”
Over the past five years one goal has remained the same, to find a job/career that I am passionate about. Today the quote above showed up on Facebook and I felt it was perfect timing with my resolution making.
I am one of those people who tends to get into the water an inch at a time, literally and figuratively. Part of me longs to be reckless and jump in whole-heartedly, but my practical side usually wins out. I always remember the important pieces before considering the jump, our finances, my flexible schedule, etc. It’s important to evaluate the pros and cons, but sometimes my practical side forgets this isn’t the only job that offers those things. I forget that when you do get to do something you love, you don’t crave the weekends and vacations.
When am I going to be brave enough to jump in? I always think the timing needs to be right, but in the meanwhile I get another year older in the process. We have no idea how long we get to be on this earth, why do we waste so much time?
I’m not going to waste this year. I’m going to make the leap and not look back.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Standing Outside The Fire by Garth Brooks
My closet and the rest of my apartment regularly stress me out; I own too much stuff to have peace.
Why is our stuff so important to us, and why is it so hard to get rid of? At the end of the day it is just stuff. There is a reason the bible tells us the story of the wealthy man who chose not to sell all of his stuff and follow Christ. It’s not because wealth and things are bad, it’s because having that significant of an attachment to our stuff doesn’t allow us to focus on what is important in life. Things are just things. True joy and satisfaction does not come from things money can buy, it comes from a peace within and love we share.
There will always be an argument for money buying vacations and boats that can bring happiness, but I think that’s only half true. It’s not the item or the location that brings the most happiness, it’s the people you are with that make the experience truly amazing.
With that being said it's time to start a Goodwill bag and list more things on eBay.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Let It Go by George Strait, great inspiration for getting rid of a few things
Today I registered for the 2016 Walt Disney World Marathon and realized I need to stop saying “I could never.”
One year ago if you had told me I would run a half marathon then later sign up for a full marathon I would have thought you were crazy. In fact six months ago I specifically said I would never want to run a full marathon, and although my brother is happily running with me, the race was one hundred percent my idea.
Looking back on how my mindset has changed in such a short time reminds me of all the other pieces of my life I could have never imagined. Ten years ago I never could have seen my life today, I was living in Kentucky and heading off to college. Five years ago I was finishing my residency program and couldn’t imagine leaving Atlanta, and two years ago I never could have seen myself writing a blog or wanting to sell every pair of heels I own.
We can’t predict our life or the person we will become. Setting up “I could nevers” makes us assume we can control our life, but why would we want to? If I could have controlled my life five years ago I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I love this version of myself the best. I am more humble, more accepting, and ready for the next thing God sends my way. That in itself makes me never want to say “I could never” again.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Wild Child by Kenny Chesney
“If you don’t have peace, it isn’t because someone took it from you; you gave it away. You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what happens in you.” – John C. Maxwell
The beach is one of the few places I’m able to put life in perspective and truly experience peace. The thought that we and our problems are so small in comparison to the ocean relaxes me every time. I realize the stress I have been carrying is not worth the time I am giving it, and for a short while I am able to feel free.
We are regularly told not to worry. From the bible, doctors, from family, and friends, so why is it such a difficult task to remove stress?
Stress and worry come from the fear of the unknown or from a dreaded task. No one stresses over things they enjoy, because those things bring pleasure. The fear of pain, difficulty, or even loss is enough to derail us, sometimes for significant periods of time. So how do we stop our fears? How do we calm ourselves when it seems that the feeling of peace will never come?
Sadly I am an expert on stress and anxiety. I was born a “high stress baby” per my mother and have had little reprieve since. My mind can take even the simplest of things and turn them into horror stories. I understand the feeling of anxiety more than anyone ever should. Because of this I also understand how to work toward feeling “normal” or at least a little more relaxed.
The best medicine is always the ocean or a really good vacation, but just like most of the world, I cannot make it to the beach every day. So the days I can’t I ask myself a few questions. I start with “What am I actually afraid of?” You can break down almost any stress to the root of a perceived worse case scenario. Typically when you are able to identify that fear you are able to realize how unlikely that scenario is, or are at least able to clearly identify your feelings around it. At this point I decide how much control I have in the outcome.
Once I determine how much control I have I ask myself “Does it really matter?” In the grand scheme of things how much does this really matter? Is my reaction justified? Jimmy has taught me over and over again what is really important in our lives. He is usually able to differentiate what is worth the stress and what isn’t, especially when looking at it from the outside. Sometimes what you really need is an outside perspective to make you realize what is valuable in life and what isn’t.
What were you able to let go of today?
Until next time,
Kaycee
My Vineyard Vines catalog arrived today and as usual rather than just coveting the clothes I wanted the water. The gorgeous pictures of St. Barths had me drooling. This beautiful island just moved up a few spots on my places to visit list!
Although the cute clothes and beautiful catalogs are fantastic, the main reason I love Vineyard Vines has nothing to do with either of those things, my favorite piece is the story of the founders. In case you are unfamiliar Shep and Ian quit their corporate jobs and started selling ties so they wouldn’t have to wear them anymore. That story has stayed with me for years. My goal has always been to have a career I loved that allowed me to do the things I wanted to do. I’m not there yet, but stories like that remind me I am fully capable of getting there.
Every once in a while I doubt myself. I feel like maybe I’m not going to make it, but then I remind myself of Thomas Edison, Richard Branson, and Walt Disney. None of them “should have made it.” Each of them had significant obstacles standing in their way, and people that didn’t believe in them. What if they had decided to not believe in themselves? We would have never flown on Virgin Airlines, gone to Walt Disney World, or even turned on a light. Each of these men experienced failures, set backs, and I’m sure at times self doubt, but they pushed through and are now considered some of the greatest entrepreneurs in the world.
We have to make the decision that our fears and doubts will not rule our lives. The will to succeed must always be greater or we will never know what we can become.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein This quote arrived in my inbox yesterday from one of my favorite motivational speakers Darren Hardy.
Along with the quote Darren had this advice: "In honor of Einstein's birthday tomorrow, go out and make mistakes. It's ok if you fail. It just means you are doing what others won't do: try new things."
I know I recently wrote about my struggle with perfection, and as of late I've had to deal with some incredibly difficult situations that I am not handling as well as I would like. This quote made me feel completely free. I felt if I stopped worrying about screwing up I might be able to do something amazing.
We don't get anywhere in life by being perfect. If we are perfect we aren't growing and growth is the only way to make to our next step.
One of my favorite bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11, "for I know the plans I have for you." It's hard to follow these plans if we never take a chance. If we never risk making a mistake we may miss out on some of the amazing things in store for our life.
Today I am not going to fear making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, or doing something that's not "perfect." I'm going to live my life, be the best person I can be, and hopefully make some good mistakes along the way.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Take Me As I Am by Faith Hill