I have a favorite treadmill at my gym. It is directly in front of an AC vent, which sends out wonderful bursts of cool air exactly when I need it. If I get to the gym early it gets to be mine.
As I was running two girls came in to also use the treadmills. In my peripheral vision I could see the irritation on their faces. The tension was so thick it was suffocating the air I so happily waited for. They wanted treadmills next to each other and I had foiled their plan. They stood looking at the treadmills for a moment, almost hoping I would feel their presence and offer up my machine. I felt unbelievably uncomfortable, but I was half way through my three mile run and wasn’t about to hand over my treadmill to two girls that were purposely trying to make me move. So I tried another tactic, I would just out run them.
When they finally decided the two treadmills on either side of me would have to do, they jumped on at high speeds. I knew anyone that would neglect a warm up before running that fast probably wasn’t experienced with running or likely exercise in general, so I knew it wouldn’t take much effort to beat them. I only had about ten to twelve minutes left of my run, but I knew that would be enough. As I started “competing” I realized I had been the girl on both sides of this situation, the one being inconvenienced and the one causing it. I have gone to the gym with friends just to be frustrated that another girl would have a treadmill between us, and also have been that girl in the middle many times. These instances aren’t intentional, but most women take them as personal offenses. We hate on each other rather than helping each other.
This isn’t just a gym behavior it’s a life behavior. As women we tend to push each other down as we compete to be the best, barely allowing our friends to out do us. Why is this? What started this toxic behavior? Have women always felt the need to compete?
I love the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg because it talks about women needing to help other women. Rather than being terrified that another woman might take our job, our husband, or our treadmill we should instead see how we can help each other. Our focus should be how can I make another person’s life better, rather than how I can prevent her from having what I have.
I could have smiled and told the girls I only had ten minutes left, but instead I made a negative situation worse. Was my decision fatal? Absolutely not, but making that small decision to add joy rather than to aggravate the problem could have made the day better for all three of us. We may have become friends rather than girls who compete. After all having more friends is always a positive.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today is Defying Gravity from the Wicked soundtrack. Definitely motivational and uplifting!