I think God is trying to teach me a lesson about control. I am sick in bed needing to go to the doctor for the first time in 5 years and unable to go because I’m uninsured. Many people who know me might find this slightly hilarious. Not only do I regularly sanitize all surfaces, including my phone, and drink things like noni to prevent illness, I also am incredibly particular when it comes to anything serious like insurance. Despite the fact that when I decided to change insurances I questioned my sales rep about electronic signatures, future emails, and repeatedly clarified that there was nothing else I needed to do, I am without insurance. The entire situation is ironic, which means there is a lesson.
I have no control in the insurance company righting it’s wrong, and I certainly have no say in when I recover. Two things I very much do not enjoy. A born perfectionist, letting go of control has never been easy. I recently saw a commercial where a comedian referred to himself as a “control enthusiast,” I thought this term was hilarious and sadly could identify all to well with it.
I have been doing better with control, but apparently still need some work. On the improvement side I don’t feel the need for the kitchen counters to be cleaned to perfection. I understand my clothes may get ruined despite all my best efforts. I can let others be in charge of items or projects that I value. I’ve learned to delegate, and I’ve learned you can’t control the process of delegated tasks (i.e. how the bathroom is cleaned). I’ve learned to give up control over some of the little things that don’t really matter, but I haven’t given up enough control yet.
Although I know I can only control my attitude and the decisions I make I am still working to put this into practice. Clearly this is an opportunity to do just that.
Until next time,
Kaycee
P.S. My favorite song today was Shoulders by for KING & COUNTRY